A group of aliens have come to Earth to learn about its population, customs, etc. To avoid detection, they have taken on human form which gives them human emotions, physical needs etc. WITHOUT the understanding of what they mean or the inhibitions normally present in humans.

 Dick: John Lithgow, Harry: French Stewart, Sally: Kristen Johnston, Mary: Jane Curtain

anvil.wavHarry: [cartoon sounds] “I gotta get me an anvil.”

bogart_3r.wavDick: “Oooh. A doobie. Let’s bogart that fat boy.”

crapfest.wavMary: “Once again, something wonderful in my life has been turned into a giant crapfest.”

dickseus.wavDick: “Not in the car. Not in the bar. Not in the house. Not up your blouse. I cannot touch you here or there, I cannot touch you anywhere.”

freak_3r.wavDick: “You know you’re a freak, don’t you?”

gorgeous.wavDick: “You’re GORGEOUS!”

harry_scream.wav – Harry gives a short scream.

hello_what.wavDick: “Hello, what do you want?”

im_out.wavHarry: “I’m out! … I’m outa the closet.”

joint.wavDick: “Oooh. A doobie. Let’s bogart that fat boy.”

lizard.wavTommy: “It was a food court of mutants. A catalog of horrors. A freak show. And I was their lizard king.”

looks_crappy.wavHarry: “Hmmmmmmm…. Well, that looks pretty crappy.”

nineties.wavDick: “This is the nineties, girlfriend.”

nosir.wavHarry: “Oh. Well, in that case… nosaaahhh.”

quilt.wavDick: “The bathroom has been stocked with two kinds of toilet paper.  I, and I alone, get the quilted kind.”

real_woman.wav – “Well check you out.  You look just like a real woman.”

rhyme.wavDick: “And what if the rhyming were never to stop. On on and on ’till your head doth pop! Oh, look, a book. A book on schnook. What kind of crook took my schnook nook book? Perhaps, me thinks, thee hither yon thou. I think I’m going to have a FREAKING COW!!”

spanky.wavDick: “I-I-I-I-I feel so exposed, and vulnerable.  But not in that fun, spanky way.”

why.wavHarry: “You killed her, you alien bastard. Why? WWWHHHHYYYY?”

women.wavHarry: “Women… you can’t live with them, yet,… they’re everywhere.”

3ROCK07.WAV Dick – “I’m not wearing any panties.”

3ROCK09.WAV Sally – “C’mon boys, who wants meat?” Group – “I do I do!”