A football team water boy discovers he has a unique tackling ability and becomes a member of the team.
Bobby Boucher: Adam Sandler, Helen ‘Mama’ Boucher: Kathy Bates, Vicki Vallencourt: Fairuza Balk, Coach Klein: Henry Winkler, Coach Red Beaulieu: Jerry Reed, Farmer Fran: Blake Clark, Townie: Rob Schneider
allnight_wb.wav Townie: You can do it! You can do it all night long!
amuseyourself_wb.wav Bobby: Listen. You can think what you want about my personal hygiene. But, please, don’t waste any water… that’s bad policy. If you need to amuse yourself at my expense, just rough me up or something… Player: Fair enough. [crunch]
badpolicy_wb.wav Bobby: That’s bad policy.
bealright_wb.wav Bobby: Is he gonna be alright?
bestday_wb.wav Bobby: This is the best day of my life!
brainpain_wb.wav Mama: OOOOWWWW!! Bobby: It’s the brain pain, coach.
bunchadogs_wb.wav Red: What the hell is this? We go from a championship football team to a bunch of dogs.
call2insano_wb.wav Host: Now let’s take a call. It’s our old friend from Jackson’s Bayou, Mr. B. Bobby: Hello, yes, is it possible to speak to Cpt. Insano. Insano: Shoot, Mr. B. Bobby: Cpt. Insano, I notice sometimes when you’re wrestling, or opening a can of whoopass, as you like to say, you’re sweating quite profusely. I was wondering if, perhaps, you might need the services of an experienced waterboy? Insano: That’s pretty cute, how old are you, kid? 11? 12? Bobby: I’m 31 years old. [pause] Insano and host laugh. Insano: I can tell that guy’s still a virgin.
choochootrain_wb.wav Player: Bring it to the hole! Your ass is mine. WOOOO! WOOO! WOOOO! Bobby: You sound like a big choo choo train.
constcrit_wb.wav Bobby: Not exactly what I would call constructive criticism.
desert_wb.wav Klein: And what are we having for desert? [squeeling, zapping noise] Momma: Squirrel.
doesheknow_wb.wav Bobby: does he know about this?
donthurt_wb.wav Oh please don’t hurt me!
dontwaste_wb.wav Bobby: Don’t waste any water… that’s bad policy.
drinkorder_wb.wav Bobby: I’ll take a scotch and water, hold the scotch.
fired_wb.wav Red: You’re FIRED! Bobby: Okay.