A football team water boy discovers he has a unique tackling ability and becomes a member of the team.

Bobby Boucher: Adam Sandler, Helen ‘Mama’ Boucher: Kathy Bates, Vicki Vallencourt: Fairuza Balk, Coach Klein: Henry Winkler, Coach Red Beaulieu: Jerry Reed, Farmer Fran: Blake Clark, Townie: Rob Schneider

allnight_wb.wav Townie: You can do it! You can do it all night long!

amuseyourself_wb.wav Bobby: Listen. You can think what you want about my personal hygiene.  But, please, don’t waste any water…  that’s bad policy.  If you need to amuse yourself at my expense, just rough me up or something… Player: Fair enough. [crunch]

badpolicy_wb.wav Bobby: That’s bad policy.

bealright_wb.wav Bobby: Is he gonna be alright?

bestday_wb.wav Bobby: This is the best day of my life!

brainpain_wb.wav Mama: OOOOWWWW!! Bobby: It’s the brain pain, coach.

bunchadogs_wb.wav Red: What the hell is this?  We go from a championship football team to a bunch of dogs.

call2insano_wb.wav Host: Now let’s take a call. It’s our old friend from Jackson’s Bayou, Mr. B. Bobby: Hello, yes, is it possible to speak to Cpt. Insano.  Insano: Shoot, Mr. B. Bobby: Cpt. Insano, I notice sometimes when you’re wrestling, or opening a can of whoopass, as you like to say, you’re sweating quite profusely.  I was wondering if, perhaps, you might need the services of an experienced waterboy? Insano: That’s pretty cute, how old are you, kid? 11? 12? Bobby: I’m 31 years old.  [pause] Insano and host laugh. Insano: I can tell that guy’s still a virgin.

choochootrain_wb.wav Player: Bring it to the hole! Your ass is mine. WOOOO! WOOO! WOOOO! Bobby: You sound like a big choo choo train.

constcrit_wb.wav Bobby: Not exactly what I would call constructive criticism.

desert_wb.wav Klein: And what are we having for desert? [squeeling, zapping noise] Momma: Squirrel.

doesheknow_wb.wav Bobby: does he know about this?

donthurt_wb.wav Oh please don’t hurt me!

dontwaste_wb.wav Bobby: Don’t waste any water… that’s bad policy.

drinkorder_wb.wav Bobby: I’ll take a scotch and water, hold the scotch.

fired_wb.wav Red: You’re FIRED! Bobby: Okay.

gatorade-v-water_wb.wav

gorillapunch_wb.wav

hangmyself_wb.wav

hello-coach_wb.wav

hqh2o_wb.wav

hqh2o2_wb.wav

hqh2o-hit_wb.wav

illdoit4free_wb.wav

jawin_wb.wav

joke_wb.wav

mamablabber_wb.wav

metundoggieow_wb.wav

needwaterboy_wb.wav

nice 2talk2_wb.wav

nicesuit_wb.wav

nicesuit2_wb.wav

nomercy_wb.wav

nothandsome_full_wb.wav

nothandsome_wb.wav

pleasantsurp_wb.wav

pokedeye_wb.wav

pretend_wb.wav

shootingrampage_wb.wav

shutupbrent_wb.wav

stillvirgin_wb.wav

tacklecasey_wb.wav

tacklenow_wb.wav

time4whoopass_wb.wav

wb-youstink_wb.wav

whatmamasays_wb.wav

whoopass_wb.wav

wowdamndiskeyowdog_wb.wav

yesuhyousuh_wb.wav

youcandoit_wb.wav

zigzag_wb.wav