Teenage geniuses deal with their abilities while developing a laser.

 Chris Knight: Val Kilmer, Mitch Taylor: Gabriel Jarret, Jordan Cochran: MichelleMeyrink, Prof. Jerry Hathaway: William Atherton, Lazlo Hollyfeld: Jon Gries, Sherry Nugil: Patti D’Arbanville, Old Lady: Ina Gould, Mr. Taylor: Paul Tulley, Mrs. Taylor: Joanne Baron, Kent: Robert Prescott, ‘Ick’ Ikagami: Mark Kamiyama, Dr. Meredith (Pacific Tech President): Severn Darden

adopted_rg.wav Mitch’s Mom: Dr. Hathaway, I saw your show the other night on radioactive isotopes, and I’ve got a question for you. Jerry: Yes? Mom: Is that your real hair? Dad: Yeah. Jerry: I tell you, is Mitch, by any chance, adopted? Mom: Why, no. Jerry: It’s amazing. Mom: Isn’t it?

bastard_rg.wav Chris: You unbelievable bastard.

bodylikethis_rg.wav Chris: I can’t stand it, have you ever seen a body like this in your life? 2: She happens to be my daughter. Chris: Well, then I guess you have.

borrowpjs_rg.wav Mitch: I gotta go to sleep: Hollyfeld: Did you want to borrow my pajamas? Mitch: No… thanks.

critintlimport_rg.wav Congressman: I was told there was a situation here of critical national importance.

decaf_rg.wav Chris: If you think that by threatening me you can get me to be your slave, well… that’s where you’re right, but… now I’m only saying this because I care, there are a lot of decaffeinated brands on the market that are just as tasty as the real thing.

dont-touch_rg.wav Jerry: Damn it, don’t touch other people’s things! (a good alert sound)

einsteinlike_rg.wav Old lady: What is Mr. Einstein really like? Jerry: dead.

exploding_rg.wav Ick: Now, if we can just keep it from exploding.

explodingice_rg.wav Chris: I’m melting! Ick: It worked! Mitch: That’s neat! Ick: Now, if we can just keep it from exploding Kent: Expl… expl.. oh no. Chris: Hey, Ick, you were just joking about exploding, right?… Ick?… It’s a joke, right?

firstchild_rg.wav Chris: Do you mind if I name my first child after you? Dipshit Knight has a nice ring to it.

gainweight_rg.wav Jerry: Look, I want to start seeing a lot more of you in the lab. Chris: Fine, I’ll gain weight.

getdownverbal_rg.wav President: I think the young people enjoy it when I get down verbally, don’t you?

gotconnect_rg.wav Hollyfeld: We’ve got a connection.

gravreverse_rg.wav Chris: Hi! Would you be prepared if gravity reversed itself? Mitch: I… well I… Chris: The only thing I can’t figure out is how to keep the change in my pockets… I’ve got it… nudity.

hammerspike_rg.wav Chris: No, seriously, listen, if there’s ever anything I can do for you or, more to the point, to you, you’ll let me know, okay? Susan: Can you hammer a six-inch spike through a board with your penis? Chris: Not right now. Susan: A girl’s gotta have her standards.

haricut_rg.wav Jerry: When I first brought you into this school I thought you’d become another Einstein, and you were well on your way.  And then… Chris: I got a haircut.

h-for-toy_rg.wav Mitch: I was here for a second this morning and… Chris: You didn’t straighten up the place, did you? Mitch: No. Chris: Good, because all my filth is in alphabetical order.  This, for instance, was under H for Toy. Mitch: What is that thing? Chris: It’s a penis stretcher… wanna try it? Mitch: No!

hollyfeldcloset_rg.wav Mitch: Did you know there’s a guy living in our closet? Chris: You’ve seen him too?  Mitch: Who is he? Chris: Hollyfeld. Mitch: Why does he keep going into our closet? Chris: Why do you keep going into our closet? Mitch: To get my clothes, but that’s not why he goes in there. Chris: Of course not, he’s twice your size. Your clothes would never fit him. Mitch: Yeah? Chris: Think before you ask these questions, Mitch. 20 points higher than me? Thinks a big guy like that can wear his clothes…

howdoyousit_rg.wav Chris: Kent puts his name on his license plate. Mitch: My mother does the same thing with my underwear. Chris: Your mother puts license plates in your underwear? How do you sit?

iceisnice_rg.wav Chris: How’s it feel to be frozen! YEAH! ICE IS NICE!!!

laboring_rg.wav Jerry: What are you looking at? You’re laborers, you’re supposed to be laboring.

launchordesign_rg.wav Chris: Would you classify that as a launch problem or a design problem?

lemmehaveit_rg.wav Kent: Lemme haveit!!

meetjordan_rg.wav Mitch: Are you okay? Jordan: No, not emotionally, no I’m not. I’m disappointed, not terribly, but still. It should have gone much further much faster. It’s okay, though, I know what the problem is. It’s obviously the drag coefficient. I’ll just have to redesign the blades. I can do that no problem. I can do that here. But after they’re designed I got to cut them and that takes tools and time. Do you know how long this stuff is supposed to last? Ick: Maybe another half an hour? Jordan: Oh that’s great, that’s good, I can do that no problem. Okay, what’s your name? Mitch: Mitch. Jordan: Oh, thank you for your help,  Mitch. Okay I’ll see you later. Mitch: You’re welcome! Who was that? Ick: That? Oh, that was… Jordan: I’m Jordan. I forgot to tell you my name, I’m Jordan. I heard there was going to be someone new this term. Are you it? Mitch: Yeah. Jordan: Do you have a bed? Mitch: Yeah. Jordan: Oh. I was going to make you one if you didn’t have one, but you have one. Okay, bye.

molesntrolls_rg.wav Chris: Moles and trolls, moles and trolls. Work work work work work.

moralimp_rg.wav Chris: It’s a moral imperative.

no1stname_rg.wav Kent: Hello, Jerry. Jerry: I told you before, Kent, you don’t get to use my first name.

nostutter_rg.wav Jerry: I’ve noticed you’ve stopped stuttering. Brody: I’ve been giving myself shock treatments. Jerry: Up the voltage.

onlychance_rg.wav Chris: Given the type of people you are and the environment you’re in, you have to admit the strong probability that this may be the only chance that you will have in your entire lives to have sex.

openconv_rg.wav Chris: That’s an interesting way to open up a conversation.

pickledream_rg.wav Mitch: Something strange happened to me this morning. Chris: Was it a dream where you see yourself standing in sort-of Sun God robes on a pyramid with a thousand naked women screaming and throwing little pickles at you? Mitch: no. Chris: Why am I the only one who has that dream?

presknow_rg.wav guy: Does the President, or any other responsible agency, know about this?

pressure_rg.wav Hollyfled: Please don’t . I don’t work well under pressure.

ruetheday_rg.wav Kent: You know, you’ll rue the day! Chris: Rue the day? Who talks like that? Mitch: I don’t know.

screamlaf_rg.wav Chris lets out a hearty screaming laugh and Mitch tries to imitate.

smartonice_rg.wav Chris: Welcome to Pacific Tech’s “Smart People on Ice”

socrates_rg.wav Mitch: Whatcha doin? Chris: Self realization. I was thinking of the imortal words of Socrates who said,… “I drank what?”

tasteit_rg.wav Chris: Do me a favor will you? Taste this. C’mon, you won’t hurt my feelings… What? Too sweet? Mitch: What is it? Chris: I don’t know, I found it in one of the labs.

theyregone_rg.wav Jordan: They’re gone!

thisiskent_rg.wav Kent: What’s all this supposed to be? Chris: This? This is ice. This is what happens to water when it gets too cold. This. This is Kent. This is what happens to people when they get too sexually frustrated.

tooweird_rg.wav Ick: you think it’s getting too weird around here? Chris: Absolutely.

toychafes_rg.wav Man: Why is that toy on your head? Chris: Because, if I wear it anywhere else it chafes.

twominds_rg.wav Man: Take very good care of this young man. He’s one of the ten finest minds in the country. Chris: Some day I hope to be two of them.

wearinghisunderwear_rg.wav Man: You are Chris Knight, aren’t you? Chris: I hope so. I’m wearing his underwear.

whichword_rg.wav Chris: Which word didn’t you understand.

whybother_rg.wav Chris: We’ve had, what, no one at the mutant hamster race. We had one entry for the Madame Currie look-alike contest and he was disqualified later… why do I bother?