A discharged Marine who’s only skill is killing finds himself leading a group of misfits at a military school.
Maj. Benson Payne: Damon Wayans, Col. Braggart: Ross Bickell, Emily Walburn: Karyn Parsons
affection_mp.wav Emily: He’s just trying to show you some affection. Payne: I don’t like it. Makes me feel all funny.
agentorange.wav Payne: Let me tell you ALL something, war has made me very paranoid! And when a man gets to eyeballin’ me it makes my Agent Orange act up, and I get the urge to kill!
ahphoie_mp.wav Payne: Ahhh phooie!
ainthappy.wav [gunshots] Payne: If he’s still in there he ain’t happy.
apology_mp.wav Payne: You think I owe you an apology?
bak2hell_mp.wav Student: Why don’t you go back to hell where you came from?
beanstalk.wav Payne: Fe fi fo fum, what beanstalk you fall from?
BGSA.wav Payne: Blood and guts and spit and ass was everywhere.
bubbapenis.wav Payne: When I come back, I ‘ll tell you what bubba used as a penis.
cant-feel-legs.wav Payne: I can’t feel my legs.
chugatoot.wav Payne imitates a train.
damnskippy.wav Payne: Damn skippy.
dealingwithchildren.wav Emily: You see, now you’re dealing with children.
deathwarr.wav Payne: Well that’s one death warrant signed. Do I have any more volunteers?
didntstutter.wav Payne: I didn’t stutter.
doughboy_mp.wav Payne: You know you remind me of the dough boy. If I poke your stomach, will it make you go [giggles].
fixup_mp.wav Payne: I’m gonna fix that up quick, fast, and in a hurry.
gamesbegin.wav Let the games begin.
gettinitch.wav Payne: It’s been two whole weeks since I killed me a man and already I’m starting to get the itch.
go-onnow_mp.wav Payne: You go on, now.
greenboys.wav Braggart: Oh, right, you’re in charge of the green boys. Payne: Come Again? Braggart: The green boys. They wear those green things… You know, it’s funny, when they stand in front of bushes… I can’t see them.
hellobetty.wav Payne: Hello, betty.
hellogorgeous.wav Payne: Hello, gorgeous. Welcome to my party.
houseofpayne.wav Payne: Hello, cueballs. Welcome to the house of Payne.
hoveudonethis.wav Emily: Have you ever done this kind of work before?
issuewife.wav Payne: I figure if the marines wanted me to have a wife, they’d have issued me one.
jackass_mp.wav Payne: Why do I feel like a jackass?
littlepressure.wav Payne: Now, you may feel a little bit of pressure.
mrpeebody.wav Payne: What do you want, Mr. Peebody?
needkillin.wav Payne: Gotta be somebody needs some killing.
negative_mp.wav Payne: Negative.
notfrigid.wav Emily: And I call you an insecure, overbearing, psychopathic, dictatorial, egomaniacal, frigid, lunatic, asshole! Payne: I ain’t frigid.
notnegot_mp.wav Payne: It’s not negotiable.
paintrick.wav Payne: Want me to show you a little trick take your mind off that pain?
posreinforce.wav Emily: Do you know what positive reinforcement means? Payne: Is that anything like when you take a P.O.W. and you snap his neck after you torture him so he don’t have to go through life with a colostomy bag?
proceed_mp.wav Payne: Proceed.
sensitive_mp.wav Payne: sen-si-tive.
sirnosir.wav Payne: Sir, no sir.
sorrymrhcman.wav Payne: I’m sorry Mr. Handicap Man, I didn’t mean to offend you.
sorry-your-a-turd.wav Payne: I’m sorry you’re just a little turd that can’t hold your liquid out in public. Now you get on out my face before I pick you up and toss you out that window.
ssnotsoggy.wav Payne: You’re still a shit sandwich… you’re just not a soggy one.
sttensquad_mp.wav Squad! Atteeen – Hut!
suggestion_mp.wav Emily: I’d like to make a suggestion.
sympathy_mp.wav Payne: You want sympathy? Look in the dictionary between shit and syphylis.
wannawrestle.wav Payne: That’s a mighty fine handshake you got there. You wanna wrestle?
what2do_mp.wav Payne: What do you think I oughtta do with you?
whiteonrice_mp.wav Payne: Boy, I am two seconds from being on you like white on rice in a glass of milk on a paper plate in a snow storm. I will put my foot so far up your ass, the water no my knee will quench your thirst.
whosthedummy.wav Payne: Who’s the dummy now?