A fast track lawyer can’t lie for 24 hours due to his son’s birthday wish after the lawyer turns his son down for the last time.
Fletcher Reede: Jim Carrey, Audrey Reede: Maura Tierney, Max Reede: Justin Cooper, Jerry: Cary Elwes, Mr. Allan: Mitch Ryan, Dana Appleton: Swoosie Kurtz, Greta: Anne Haney, Samantha Cole: Jennifer Tilly
7th-hell.wav – Reede: I’ve slipped into the seventh circle of HELL!
angryhi.wav – Reede: HI!!
badsex.wav – Reede: I’m a little upset about a bad sexual episode I had last night.
barfnoise.wav –Reede makes a retching noise.
belowbelt.wav – Reede: Ooh, that was below the belt. Try to keep the gloves up.
canthapn-ll.wav – Reede: No no no NO. This can”t HAPPEN!
cantlie.wav – Reede: I can’t lie!
clikclak.wav – Reede makes a clicking noise.
cmongo-ll.wav – Reede: C’mon, we gotta go.
confession.wav – Cop: Do you know why I pulled you over?
Reede: Depends on how long you were following me… eesh!
Cop: Why don’t we just take it from the top.
Reede: Here goes… I sped, I followed too closely, I ran a stop sign, I almost hit a Chevy, I sped some more, I failed to yield at a crosswalk, I changed lanes in the intersection, I changed lanes without signaling while running a red light and SPEEDING!
contempt.wav – Reede: I HOLD MYSELF IN CONTEMPT!!
continuance.wav – Reede: You Honor, I would like a continuance!
cranky.wav – Judge: I am tired, and very cranky
dontask-ll.wav – Reede: DON’T ASK! For God’s sake, don’t ask!
funniest.wav – Sr. Partner: That’s the funniest thing I ever heard!
gibberish1.wav – Reede talks some gibberish in an effort NOT to lie
gibberish2.wav – Reede talks some gibberish in an effort NOT to lie
gibberish3.wav – Reede talks some gibberish in an effort NOT to lie
godinhevn.wav – Reede: GOD in heaven!
good4you-ll.wav – Reede: Good fer you!
goodcall.wav – Reede: Good call!
gotagobye-ll.wav – Reede: Uh, no, gotta go!… Goodbye.
happymoment.wav – Jerry: This is the happiest moment of my entire life.
hardball-ll.wav – Haney: You wanna play hardball?… I’m game
help-ll.wav – Reede: HEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLP!!
heycreepy.wav – Reede: Hey, creepy
holyhell.wav – Reede: Holy hell!!
hwmchass.wav – Reede: Awwwww, how much ass do I have to kiss to make PARTNER around this place?
imagedel.wav – Reede: Wow, that was a nice image… <click clack> DELETED!
imcrazy.wav – Audrey: I just had an insight into myself… I’m CRAZY
imjosecon.wav – Reede: I’m Jose Conseco!! I’M JOOSSSEEE COOONNNNSSSEEEEEECCCOOOOOOOO!
inconsid.wav – Reede: I’M AN INCONSIDERATE PRICK!!!!!
kikdaround.wav – Mom: I am tired of getting kicked around!
kiknmyass.wav – Guy: What the hell are you doing?
Reede: I’m kickin’ my ASS! DO YOU MIND??!!
molested.wav – Greta: Have you been sexually molested yet, because I could circle the block?
morbidcur.wav – Judge: It is out of sheer morbid curiosity I’m allowing this… freak show… to continue
no-ll.wav – Reede: NOOO!
notall.wav – Cop: Is that all?
Reede (gritting his teeth): no…
noweakrsex.wav – Reede: There’s NOOOOOOOOOOOOO such thing as a weaker sex!
objection-ll.wav – Haney: Your honor, I object!
Reede: You would!
ocmon-ll.wav – Reede: Oh, COMEON!
outofmind.wav – Audrey: What were you doing? Are you out of your mind?
owie.wav – Reede: OOOWWWIE!!
phaseout.wav – Reede: My plan to phase myself out is almost complete.
phonecall-ll.wav – Reede: PHONE CALL!! Phone call. I get a phone call!! I GOT A PHONE CALL!!!
razz.wav – If I could spell it, I would
run-nohide-ll.wav – Law Partner: You can run, but you can’t hide.
scream2-ll.wav – Reede screams
scream-ll.wav – Reede screams again
sqlsplat.wav – Squeal and a splat
stopwhining.wav – Samantha: You, stop that whining, or I’ll give you something to whine about
suchashit.wav – Reede: Oh, I’m such a SHIT!
thankgod-ll.wav – Reede: Oh, thank GOD!
thegame.wav – Reede: Jordan fades back… swish!… it’s good, and THAT’S THE GAME!
truthfree.wav – Reede: And the truth shall set you free!!!
urgd-vrygd.wav – Law Partner: Oh, you are good. You are very very good
urgood-ll.wav – Law Partner: Oh, you are good
whatshoe.wav – Pilot: What was that?
Copilot: Looked like a SHOE!?
willpower.wav – Reede: Alright, you can beat this. It’s all – a – matter – of – willpower!
wreckday.wav – Reede (Mighty Mouse theme): Here she comes to wreck the daaaayyyy!
wrongwthme.wav – Reede: What’s wrong with me??
yourevictim.wav – Reede: You’re the victim here
carreywav.zip – Download ALL the sounds from this page (plus some) in one convenient zip file.