The alumni cast of a cult space TV show have to play their roles as the real thing when an alien race needs their help.

Jason Nesmith/Peter Taggert: Tim Allen, Gwen DeMarco: Sigourney Weaver, Alexander Dane: Alan Rickman, Tech Sgt. Chen/Fred Kwan: Tony Shaloub,Guy Fleegman: Sam Rockwell, Tommy Webber: Daryl Mitchell, Mathesar: Enrico Colantoni, Sarris: Robin Sachs, Brandon: Justin Long, Teb: Jed Rees, Laliari: Missi Pyle

10seconds_gq.wav Sarris: You have 10 seconds!

activate-O13_gq.wav Taggert: Activate the Omega 13

allaboutyou_gq.wav Alex: Oh, right, of course it’s always about you, isn’t it?

badsound_gq.wav Gwen: I remember that sound. That’s a bad sound!

betterthanlt_gq.wav Taggert: Hello, Zerus. How you doin? Zerus: Better than my leiutennant.

broketheship_gq.wav Alex: You broke the ship. You broke the bloody ship!

cantbestopped_gq.wav Chen: It can’t be stopped.

crewman6_gq.wav Guy: I’m not even supposed to be here. I’m just crewman number 6. I’m expendable. I’m the guy in the episode who dies to prove the situation is serious. I gotta get out of here.

cuteugly_gq.wav Gwen: They are so cute. Guy: Sure, they’re cute now. But in a second they’re going to get mean. And they’re going to get ugly somehow. And there’s going to be a million more of them.

destroyship_gq.wav Sarris: Deliver the device to me or I will destroy your ship.

disasteroustech_gq.wav Mathesar: While my people are talented scientists, our attempt to operate our own technologies under tactical simulation have been disasterous.

doorclose_gq.wav [SFX] Door closing

eatingeachother_gq.wav Gwen: I mean, this is unreal. They’re going to start eating each other out there.

extermination_gq.wav Sarris: At every turn you demonstrate the necessity for your extermination.

findapub_gq.wav Gwen: Alex, where are you going? Alex: To see if there’s a pub!

fire@will_gq.wav Sarris: Thrust ahead… full! Fire at will.

GQTheme.wav Galaxy Quest theme (44K Stereo)

grandtour-scream_gq.wav Taggert: Who wants the grand tour. Guy: [screams loud and long] Taggert: Anybody else?

greaterdamage_gq.wav Sarris: You have all done far greater damage than I ever could have. Bravo. Bravo.

guyscreams_gq.wav Guy screams

helluvathing_gq.wav [SFX] Chen: That was a helluva thing.

holdplease_gq.wav Gwen: Hold, please.

iseefear_gq.wav Sarris: I see fear. That is expected.

isthereair_gq.wav Guy: Hey! Don’t open that! It’s an alien planet! Is there air? You don’t know!

justatvshow_gq.wav Brandon: So, we were wondering just where the error lies in that? Taggert: It’s just a television show, okay? Brandon: Right, but… ‘Cause we were wondering if the quantum flux… Taggert: There is no quantum flux. There’s no auxiliary. There is no god damned ship! You got it!!?

kidding_gq.wav Gwen: You’re kidding.

lasthope_gq.wav Thermian: Please, commander. You… are… our… last… hope.

lastname_gq.wav Taggert: You’re not going to die on the planet, Guy. Guy: I’m not? Then what’s my last name? Taggert: It’s… um… I don’t know. Guy: Nobody knows. You know why? Because my character isn’t important enough for a last name. Because I’m going to die five minutes in. Gwen: Guy, you have a last name.Guy: DO I? DO I? For all you know, I’m just crewman number 6… mommy… mommy… mommy. Alex: Are we there yet?

lastname-full_gq.wav Guy: I changed my mind. I want to go back. Alex: After the fuss you made about getting left behind? Guy: Yeah, but that’s when I thought I was the crewman that stays on the ship and something gets up there and it kills me. But now I’m thinking I’m the guy who gets killed by some monster five minutes after we land on the planet. Taggert: You’re not going to die on the planet, Guy. Guy: I’m not? Then what’s my last name? Taggert: It’s… um… I don’t know. Guy: Nobody knows. You know why? Because my character isn’t important enough for a last name. Because I’m going to die five minutes in. Gwen: Guy, you have a last name. Guy: DO I? DO I? For all you know, I’m just crewman number 6… mommy… mommy… mommy. Alex: Are we there yet?

latenight_gq.wav Taggert: You know guys, I had a late night with a cramorian fangor beast. I’m going to just shut my eyes for a bit. Go on. I’m listening to everything you say.

letsgo_gq.wav Gwen: Let’s get out of here before one of those things kills Guy.

likeyouknow_gq.wav Alex: You can’t hold the turbo down. It’s for quick boosts. Taggert: Oh, like you know!

lobsterhead_gq.wav Taggert: That should take care of old Lobsterhead, shouldn’t it?

minersnotminors_gq.wav Alex: Could they be the miners? Chen: Oh, sure, they’re like three years old. Alex: Miners, not minors. Chen: You lost me.

mumword_gq.wav Taggert: Mum’s the word. Mathesar: Certainly, but…. mum. Thermians: mum… mum… mum

needhelp_gq.wav Thermian: I must speak to you – it is of supreme importance. We are Thermians from the Claatu nebula and weeee need your help.

nevergiveup_gq.wav Taggert: Never give up, never surrender.

nevergiveup-thermian_gq.wav Mathesar: Never give up, never surrender.

nosuccessfultest_gq.wav Gwen: It’s perfectly safe, isn’t it, Ted. Teb: It has never been successfully tested.

nothit_gq.wav Alex: Could you possibly try not… to hit… every… single… one?!

notright_gq.wav Guy: OOOHHHH, that’s not right!… no.

notstrong_gq.wav Mathesar: Our former commander was not… strong.

ohdarn_gq.wav Taggert: Oh darn.

pantson_gq.wav Taggert: Maybe I should get some pants on?

pigexplodes_gq.wav Gwen: Everything’s fine. Ted: But the animal is inside out. Taggert: I heard that. It turned inside out? [SFX: Explosion] Ted: And it exploded.

presencerequested_gq.wav Mathesar: Your presence is required on the command deck.

screensaver2_gq.wav Thermian: We’re approaching in five ticks, sir. Command to slow? Taggert: Uh, set it on screensaver two.

somethinbad_gq.wav Guy: Something bad happened here.

sorrytowake_gq.wav Laliari: I’m sorry to wake you, sir, but your presence is requested on the command deck.

stupidjob_gq.wav Gwen: Look. I have one lousy job on this ship. It’s stupid, but I’m going to do it. Tommy: Sure. No problem.

thrustahead_gq.wav Sarris: Thrust ahead… full!

tommyscreams_gq.wav Tommy screams after breaking his arm.

vulnerablespots_gq.wav Taggert: It doesn’t have any eyes, Tommy. Tommy: Then go for the mouth, the throat, its  vulnerable spots. Taggert: IT’S A ROCK! IT DOESN’T HAVE ANY VULNERABLE SPOTS!!! Guy: I know. You construct a weapon. Look around you, can you form some sort of rudimentary lathe?

wahtdidyousay_gq.wav Sarris: What did you say?

wearynoises_gq.wav Sarris: When I grow weary of the noises you make, you shall DIE!

wefailed_gq.wav Thermian: A thousand apologies, we have failed you.

werethegreenthingy_gq.wav Guy: Hey, guys, there’s a red thingy moving toward the green thingy. Taggert: What? Guy: Red thingy moving toward the green thingy… I think we’re the green thingy.

whatdidido_gq.wav Taggert: What did I do? Hmm? What?

whereslimo_gq.wav Taggert: Hey! Where’s my limo?

wont-takeit_gq.wav Chen: Hi guys. Listen, they’re telling me the generators won’t take it. The ship is breaking apart and all that. Just FYI.

youbeengreat_gq.wav Taggert: You kids have been great, you really have.