Meet the only guy who changes his identity more often than his underwear.
Irwin “Fletch” Fletcher: Chevy Chase, Chief Karlin: Joe Don Baker, Gail Stanwyk: Dana Wheeler-Nicholson, ‘Frank’ Walker: Richard Libertini, Alan Stanwyk: Tim Matheson, Larry: Geena Davis
100dolrs.wav You okay? Fletch: Feel like a hundred dollars.
5-10mins.wav Gail: Could you love someone who looked like that? Fletch: What are you talking about? No. Five… ten minutes tops.
alfgarc.wav Fletch: Never mind. Just get me a glass of hot fat. And bring me the head of Alfredo Garcia while you’re out there.
allears-fletch.wav Alan: Here’s my proposition. Fletch: I’m all ears.
ballbearings.wav Fletch: I’m gonna need some pliers, and a set of 30 weight ball bearings. Mechanic1: What? Mechanic2: What the hell do you need ball bearings for? Fletch: C’Mon guys. It’s so simple maybe you need a refresher course. It’s all ball bearings nowadays.
bigspleen.wav Dr: Have you ever seen a spleen that large? Fletch: No… no, not since breakfast.
bldymary.wav Waiter: Would you like some drinks while you wait? I will put it on the Underhill’s bill. Fletch: Yes, I’ll have a bloody mary, a steak sandwich, and a steak sandwich. Waiter: Very good sir.
bopeep.wav Fletch: Does this proposition entail my dressing up as Little Bo Peep?
borrowtowel.wav Gail: I just got out of the shower. Fletch: Yeah. Could I borrow your towel a sec? My car just hit a water buffalo.
caviar.wav Waiter: You would like something to eat or drink senior? Fletch: Actually, I would. Waiter: Charge it to the Underhill’s senior? Fletch: yeah, that’s… that’s right. Do you have any caviar? Waiter: Si senior, beluga, but it is $80 a portion. Fletch: Well, then I’d better just take two portions of that. How’s the lobster thermador? Waiter: I recommend it, senior. Fletch: Good. That’ll be fine. Bring two bottles of Dom Perignon to cabana one and put down $30 for yourself.Waiter: Muchos gracias, senior. Fletch: Nicest place.
clnwins.wav Fletch: Somebody ought to clean these windows. There is a tremendous buildup of gook all over them… look at that.
close2death.wav Fletch: Do you have any idea how close to death I came?
comanche.wav Oh, by the way, what kind of a name is poon? Fletch: Comanche indian.
damnfine.wav Fletch: And a damn fine answer if I do say so my damn self, thank you.
deadbro.wav Fletch: I thought that body was my dead brother. Nurse: Oh! Fletch: It’s okay, but that spleen was the spitting image.
discbusiness.wav Fletch: Well, I don’t like to discuss business on the lanai, come on in. If you’re wearing rubbers, leave them outside, will you?
doncorleon.wav Who are you? Fletch: I’m Don Corleon.
dropshorts.wav Doctor: Drop your shorts and bend over, Mr. Babar.
dr-rosen.wav Fletch: Oh, it’s me Dr. Rosenpenis, I’m just here to check out Alan Stanwyck’s file. Nurse: Dr. who? Fletch: Dr. Rosenrosen, I’m here to get in the records room. Nurse: Come again? Fletch: It’s Dr. Rosen, Hi. I just want to check the records room. Nurse: Dr. who? Fletch: Dr. Rosen.
dynastylast10.wav Fletch: Oh, looks like you two have lots to talk over. We’ll just catch the last 10 minutes of Dynasty.
extra1k.wav Fletch: For an extra grand, I’ll let you take me out to dinner.
fletch.wav Fletch: fletch.
forward.wav Gail: Are you always this forward? Fletch: Only with married, wet women.
gdwing.wav Fletch: Ah, that’s a terrific wing. I love this shape.
gimmeprint.wav Fletch: Give me something I can print.
go2gym.wav Fletch: Why don’t you guys go down to the gym and pump each other.
goddogdog.wav Fletch: Aw, for God dog dog.
gohome-fletch.wav Alan: I said I’ll take care of this, now it doesn’t involve you. Now, go on home. I’ll call you tomorrow.
gracias.wav Muchos gracias. Fletch: Senior del Fuego.
hopalong.wav Fletch: What a coincidence. Alan: What? Fletch: I came this close to buying this place, then I found out Hopalong Cassidy killed himself here – blew it for me. Alan: Who? Fletch: Hopalong Cassidy… bow and arrow… very weird.
hostile.wav Fletch: That’s a pretty hostile thing to do, don’t you think?
howgray.wav Fletch: Well, there we’re in a kind-of gray area. Frank: Alright. How gray? Fletch: charcoal?
hstruman.wav Fletch: Hi there, I’m Harry S. Truman from Casewell Insurance Underwriters.
igorstrav.wav Fletch: My name is Igor Stavinski.
ihatetl.wav Fletch: Hey, you and Tommy Lasorda. [yeah] I hate Tommy Lasorda.
ilikemen.wav Karlin: Why are you doing this, Mr. Fletch? Fletch: I like men. I like to be manhandled… I like you.
imjohn.wav Fletch: I’m John.
inutah.wav Fletch: The reason I was asking about Alan is that I bumped into him this morning, and you know what I can’t figure out? Gail: Alan’s in Utah. Fletch: I can’t figure out what I was doing in Utah this morning.
jhcoaps.wav Jesus H Christ on a popsicle stick.
names.wav A spliced-together sound bite of Fletch saying all the different names he uses in the movie… including his real name.