Fast Cars, Fast Girls, Fast Carrots…Fast Carrots? Follows a group of high school students growing up in southern California, based on the real-life adventures chronicled by Cameron Crowe.

Jeff Spicoli: Sean Penn, Stacy Hamilton: Jennifer Jason Leigh, Brad Hamilton: Judge Reinhold, Mike Damone: Robert Romanus, Mark ‘Rat’ Ratner: Brian Backer, Linda Barrett: Phoebe Cates, Mr. Hand: Ray Walston, Mr. Vargas: Vincent Schiavelli, Charles Jefferson: Forest Whitaker

100percent_ft.wav Brad: Mister, if you don’t shutup, I’m gonna kick 100% of your ass!

5points_ft.wav Damone: First of all, Rat, you never let on how much you like a girl: “Oh, Debbie, hi.” Two, you always call the shots: “Kiss me. You won’t regret it.” Now, three, act like wherever you are that’s the place to be: “Isn’t this great?” Four, when ordering food, you find out what she wants then order for the both of you. It’s a classy move: “The lady will have the linguini and white clam sauce, and a coke with no ice.” And five, now this is most important, Rat. When it comes down to making out, whenever possible, put on side one of Led Zeppelin Four.

alohamrhand.wav Mr. Hand: Aloha. My name is Mr. Hand.

bioclass.wav Stacy: Hi. Don’t I know you from biology class?

bitchin_ft.wav Spicoli: Bitchin’ [chuckle]

braindmg_ft.wav Spicoli: Doesn’t that stuff cause brain damage?

comeagain_ft.wav Brad: Thank you. Come again and have a nice day.

cutebutt_ft.wav Did you see his cute little butt?

depressed_ft.wav Damone: What’s the matter? You look depressed.

dididowrong_ft.wav Spicoli: Did I do something wrong, Mr. Hand?

entray_ft.wav [knock] Spicoli: That’s better… entray.

excusemyself_ft.wav Mark: Would you mind if I excuse myself for a moment.

favor_ft.wav Mark: Look, just do me this one favor. I swear I won’t ask you for anything again in this lifetime or any other.

halucinating_ft.wav Hand: Am I hallucinating here? Just what in the hell do you think you’re doing?

helluvapiss_ft.wav Brad: I hope you had a hell of a piss, Arnold!!

hey_bud.wav Spicoli: Hey, bud, let’s party!

howlong_ft.wav Customer: How f**king long do I have to wait?

iamtoday_ft.wav Vargas: Hey, are you in my class? Spicoli: I am today.

icanfixit_ft.wav Jefferson’s Brother: My brother’s gonna kill us.  He’s gonna kill us. He’s gonna kill you and he’s gonna kill me he’s gonna kill us. Spicoli: Hey, man, just be glad I had fast reflexes. Bro: My brother’s gonna shit. Spicoli: Make up your mind, dude, is he gonna shit or is he gonna kill us? Bro: First he’s gonna shit, then he’s gonna kill us. Spicoli: Relax, alright. My old man is a television repairman – he’s got this ultimate set of tools. I can fix it. Bro: You can’t fix this car, Spicoli. … Spicoli: I can fix it.

idontknow_ft.wav Hand: Why do you shamelessly waste my time like this? Spicoli: I don’t know.

important_ft.wav Damone: I hope this is important, you know, because I could be blowing a big deal.

isthereaprob_ft.wav Manager: Uh… is there a problem here?

jumponme_ft.wav Mark: Well, what am I supposed to do? Go up to this strange girl in my biology class and say, “Hello. I’d like you to take your clothes off and jump on me”? Damone: I would.

justsex_ft.wav It’s no huge thing, it’s just sex.

learnknowlive.wav Brad: Learn it… know it… live it…

likesex_ft.wav Bro: I like sex.

lotsafilm_ft.wav Damone: I can see it all now, this is going to be just like last summer.  You fell in love with that girl at the photomat. You bought $40 worth of f**king film and you never even talked to her… you don’t even own a camera.

majordisturb_ft.wav Hand: You’re causing a major disturbance on my time.

mayicomein_ft.wav Spicoli: May I come in? Hand: Oh, please!

myskull_ft.wav Spicoli: Listen… listen up [banging] phone: what was that? Spicoli: That was my skull! I’m so wasted!!

narly_ft.wav Spicoli: OH NARLY!!

offmycase_ft.wav Brad: GET OFF MY CASE MOTHER F***ER!!!!!

ondecaf_ft.wav Vargas: Look, I’m a little slow today, I just switched to Sanka. So, have a heart.

pplonludes_ft.wav [honking] Spicoli: People on ‘ludes should not drive.

redlight_ft.wav Bro: Hey, you crazy, Spicoli, that light was red. Spicoli: It was yellow a minute ago, I’m sure.

ruondope_ft.wav Hand: What are you people, on dope?

seeyal8r_ft.wav Damone: Right. Gotta be going. See you later. [good shutdown sound]

servnofries.wav Brad: Daddy’s home, boys. I shall serve no fries before their time.

smokindope_ft.wav [bubbles] Friend: You should be comin’ on pretty soon, dude, how much have you somked? Spicoli: This should be a little demonstration of that. Listen… listen up [banging] phone: what was that? Spicoli: That was my skull! I’m so wasted!!

sowasted_ft.wav Spicoli: I’m so wasted!!

spicoli_ft.wav Hand: Mr…. Spicoli. Spicoli: That’s the name they gave me.

surfparty_ft.wav Spicoli: Surfing’s not a sport, it’s a way of life. You know, a hobby. It’s like looking at that wave and saying, “Hey, bud, let’s party!”

tastywavs_ft.wav Spicoli: All I need are some tasty waves, a cool buzz, and I’m fine.

totallyawesome_ft.wav Spicoli: AWESOME!! Totally awesome!

urawuss.wav Damone: You are a wuss. Part wimp and part pu**y.

valuableinfo_ft.wav Damone: Hey, men have died trying to obtain this valuable information, you know.

waitamin_ft.wav Brad: Uh, wait just a minute.

whatcanido_ft.wav Damone: What can I do for you, gentlemen?

youdick_ft.wav Spicoli: Hey, bud, what’s your problem. Hand: No problem at all. I think you know where the front office is. Spicoli: You dick!