Dave Morgan: Sean Astin, Linkovitch Chomofsky: Brendan Fraser, StanleyStoneyBrown: Pauly Shore, Robyn Sweeney: Megan Ward, Matt: Michael DeLuise, Mr. Morgan: Richard Masur

3rdgradeheadache_em.wav Matt: You’ve been a headache ever since the third grade.

4foodgroups_em.wav Stoney: Look at what we have here. Dairy group: Milk duds. You hide these under your pillow, bro, so your mom doesn’t find them. If she does, you’re tweaked, buddy. Keep on cruising. Fruit group: Sweet Tarts. These are killer, buddy. So citrusy, dude, you’ll freak. Keep on cruising. This is the vegetable group. Vegetable group: Corn nuts. Oh, put ’em on a pedestal,  bro. Look at that… [DING] MEAT GROUP!

babehood_em.wav Dave: You don’t understand, we have history. Stoney: Hey, you had history. Pre-freshman history. You could have had her back then. Dave: She hadn’t hit babehood, yet. Stoney: Milk does a body good. Check her.

chillin_em.wav Stoney: Oh, buddy, it’s chillin.

dontlikemornings_em.wav Dave: I don’t like mornings.

englishstanley_em.wav Stoney: Mr. Morgan, if you’re edged ’cause I’m weazing on your grindage, just chill. ’cause if I had the whole Brady Bunch thing happening at my pad, I’d go grind over there. So don’t tax my gig so hard-core, cruster. Mr. Morgan: English, Stanley. Speak English.

getoffme_em.wav Dave: UGH!… Get off me… What are you doing?… I don’t like mornings.

goinsomewhere_em.wav

guyinpool_em.wav

hohos_em.wav

hurtlobes_em.wav

hurtpancreas_em.wav

itscold_em.wav

jeopardy_em.wav

jimmymahoney_em.wav

link-stoneytalk_em.wav

milkdoesabodygood_em.wav

nicecones.wav

noway_em.wav

noweezingjuice_em.wav

owmypancreas_em.wav [thud!] Stoney: Ow. My pancreas.

shoosh_em.wav

tacobell_em.wav

toomuchresp_em.wav

truthaboutlife_em.wav

whatdowehave_em.wav

whoisthisds_em.wav