The cross-country adventures of two good-hearted but incredibly stupid friends.
Lloyd Christmas – Jim Carrey, Harry Dunne – Jeff Daniels, Mary Swanson – Lauren Holley
745_dd.wav Mary: So, you’ll pick me up a 7:45? Harry: Well, no, I got a few things to take care of first, but what about quarter to eight? Mary: [giggle] Harry:Okay, 7:45.
accent_dd.wav Lloyd: That’s a lovely accent you have. New Jersey? Lady: Austria. Lloyd: Austria? Well, then… G’day mate! Let’s put another shrimp on the barbie. Lady: Let’s not.
annoysound_dd.wav Lloyd: Hey, wanna hear the most annoying sound in the world? … [very annoying sound]
boot2head_dd.wav [SFX: thumping noise] [scream]
calledher_dd.wav Harry: Yeah I called her up, she gave me a bunch of crap about me not listening to her, or something, I don’t know, I wasn’t really paying attention.
cantbedumber_dd.wav Harry: Just when I thought you couldn’t get any dumber, you go and do something like this… and totally redeem yourself!
classy_dd.wav Harry: That’s no problem, Lloyd, we can be classy and sophisitca… Check out the funbags on that hosehound. Lloyd: I’d like to eat her liver with some fava beans and a bottle of Chianti.
deadmeat_dd.wav Lloyd: Life is a fragile thing, Har. One minute you’re chewin’ on a burger, the next minute you’re dead meat
dontcare_dd.wav Lloyd: I don’t CARE!
fart_dd.wav [SFX fart]
givemenumber_dd.wav Harry: Why don’t you tell it to me – I’ve got a really good memory. Operator: Your number is 5 – 5 – 5… 9 – 0 – 5… no, that’s my number. That’s funny how your mind just goes blank like that… Harry: For God’s sake, just give me the damn number!
hatedump_dd.wav Lloyd: I’ve had it with this dump! We’ve got no food. We’ve got no jobs… our pets heads are falling off!!
heartbreak_dd.wav Lloyd: What happened, Harry? Some little filly break your heart? Harry: No, it was a girl.
ious_dd.wav Where’s all the money? Lloyd: That’s as good as money, sir. Those are I-O-Us. Go ahead and add it up, every cent’s accounted for. Look. See this one? That’s a car. $275,000… might want to hang on to that one.
jclaff_dd.wav Lloyd laughs
kildfriend_dd.wav Lloyd: You killed my best friend, you BASTARD! Thug: If it’s any consolation, you’re about to be reunited. [gun shots] Lloyd: HARRY! You’re alive… and you’re a horrible shot.
leavescene_dd.wav Lloyd: They always freak out when you leave the scene of an accident, you know?
likeitalot_dd.wav Lloyd: I like it a lot.
limodriver_dd.wav Lloyd: It’s okay… I’m a limo driver.
nicehooters_dd.wav Harry: Nice set of hooters you got there.
nojobs_dd.wav Harry: There’s not a single job in this town. Lloyd: Yeah, not unless you want to work 40 hours a week.
oldfeeling_dd.wav Lloyd: The first time I met Mary Swanson, I got that old fashioned romantic feeling, where I’d do anything to bone her. Harry: That’s a special feeling, Lloyd.
pathloser_dd.wav Lloyd: You are one pathetic loser.
pullover_dd.wav Cop: Pull over. Harry: No, it’s a cardigan, but thanks for noticing. Lloyd: Yeah, killer boots, man.
rockier_dd.wav Harry: Huh… I expected the rocky mountains to be a little rockier than this. Lloyd: I was thinking the same thing. That John Denver is full of shit, man.
schoolboy_dd.wav Lloyd: I desperately want to make love to a schoolboy.
theresachance_dd.wav Lloyd: You mean not good like one in a hundred? Mary: I’d say more like one in a million. Lloyd: So you’re telling me there’s a chance? YEAH! I read you.
van2dog_dd.wav Harry: I spent my life savings turning my van into a dog.
wayoff_dd.wav Lloyd: I was way off.