Never give a saga and even break! To ruin a western town, a corrupt political boss appoints a black sheriff, who promptly becomes his most formidable adversary.

Sheriff Bart: Cleavon Little, Waco Kid: Gene Wilder, Taggart: Slim Pickens, Lamarrr: Harvey Korman, Lili: Madeline Kahn, Governor: Mel Brooks, Lyle: Burton Gilliam, Rev. Johnson: Liam Dunn, Mongo: Alex Karras

10GALLON.WAV Lili: “Hello, handsome, is that a 10-gallon hat, or are you just enjoying the show?”

120DEGR.WAV Lyle: C’mon boys! The way you’re lollygaggin around here with those picks and shovels, you’d think it was 120 degrees. Can’t be more than 114!

20WHORE.WAV Taggart: Gol darnit. You use your tongue purdier than a $20 whore.

24HRS.WAV Sheriff: Just give me 24 hours to come up with a brilliant idea to save our town. Just 24 hours.

ACTFAST.WAV Reverend: Now the time has come to act and act fast.

ACTQUICK.WAV Hedley Lamarr: The time has come to act and act quickly.

ADVNTAGE.WAV Lamarr: Wait a minute… maybe I can turn this thing to my advantage.

ASOCIATN.WAV Lamarr: I cannot find the words to truly express my joy at the rekindling of our association.

A**HOLE.WAV Lady: You are the leading A**hole in the state.

AUFWEIDR.WAV Sheriff: Auf Wiedersein, Baby.

AWAKE.WAV Sheriff: Are we awake?

BELCH.WAV Just what it says.

BIGMISTK.WAV Rev. Johnson: I think it’s a big mistake.

BKFIRED.WAV Lamarr: All of my plans have backfired.

BLOWIT.WAV Mayor?: Ah, blow it out your a**.

BULLS**T.WAV Lilli: Bulls**t.

CACTUSHD.WAV Lamarr: Elementary, cactushead.

CATDRAGD.WAV Kid: Oh, deary dear. Look what the cat dragged in.

CLOSDSET.WAV Dom DeLuise: CUUUUUUTTTT!   What in the HELL do you think you are doing here? This is a CLOSED set!

CMONIN.WAV [knock] Lilli: Wilkomen. Bienvenue. Welcome. Comeonin.

CNDYGRAM.WAV Sheriff: Candygram for Mongo. Mongo: Me Mongo. Sheriff: Sign, please. Mongo: Mongo like candy. [EXPLOSION]

CONGRISE.WAV Reverend: Will the congregation please rise.

CRUELTY.WAV Lady: Have you ever seen such cruelty?

DEFECTIV.WAV Governor: These things are defective.

DESPRATE.WAV Sheriff: Oh, lordy Lord, he’s desperate. Do what he say. Do what he saaaaay.

DIMES.WAV Taggart: Has anybody got a dime!? Somebody’s gotta go back and get a s**tload of dimes.

FROGGY.WAV Lamarr: Where’s my froggy!?? Hurry, find it! Get it! Look around! Give it to me, hurry! Daddy loves froggy, froggy love daddy?

GNITE.WAV Sheriff: Thank you, much obliged. Goodnight.

GOODSENS.WAV Governor: I’ve always trusted your judgement before, but haven’t you taken a giant leap away from your good senses?

GOODTAST.WAV Old Lady: Of course you’ll have the good sense not to mention that I spoke to you.

GOTCHA.WAV Taggart: Send wire to the main office and tell them that I said [CLANG!] OW! Rail Boss: Send wire, main office, tell them I said “ow”. Gotcha!

HADENUF.WAV The infamous bean scene!

HANDCART.WAV Taggart: Dang, that was lucky. Durn near lost a $400 hand cart.

HAPPYEND.WAV Kid: Gee, I sire hope there’s a happy ending. I love a happy ending.

HDLYLAFF.WAV Lamarr laughs an evil laugh, then chokes at the end.

HERECOME.WAV Man: Nevermind that s**t, here comes Mongo!

HEYBOYS.WAV Kid: Hey boys! Look what I got here! Sheriff: Hey, where the white women at?

HOLDIT.WAV Sheriff: Hold it! Next man makes a move the n****r gets it. (I know. I hate that word, too, but it’s just such a funny scene.)

HOLYSHTB.WAV Male voice: HOLY S**T!!!

IMLEAVN.WAV Reverend: I’m leaving.

ISAIDOW.WAV Taggart: Send wire to the main office and tell them that I said [CLANG!] OW!

JOWENS.WAV Sheriff: An now, for my next impression, Jesse Owens!

KCFAGS.WAV Taggart: I hired you people to try and get a little track laid. Not to dance around like a bunch of Kansas City faggots.

L&HSHAKE.WAV Howard Johnson: As honorary chairman of the welcoming committee, it is my privilege to extend to you a laurel & hearty handshake.

LISN2HIM.WAV Man: Listen to him, men. He’s just crazy enough to do it.

MAKEMAD.WAV Kid: No no. Don’t do that. Don’t do that. If you shoot him you’ll just make him mad.

MNDAGLOW.WAV Lamarr: My mind is aglow with whirling, transient nodes of thought careening through a cosmic vapor of invention.

MONTAGE1.WAV A compilation of clips I put together.  About 16 seconds. Pretty cute.

MORONS.WAV Kid: you’ve got to remember that these people are just simple farmers. These are people of the land. The common clay of the new West. You know… morons.

MRGDBAR.WAV Lamarr: I’m through being Mr. Goodbar.

NEBDYHLP.WAV Lady: Isn’t anybody going to help that poor man?

NOPARK.WAV Guy: Hey, you can’t park that animal over there, it’s illegal!

NOSINGIN.WAV Rail Boss: Now, c’mon boys, where’s your spirit? I don’t hear no singin’

NOWTRBL.WAV Taggart: Gol Dang, no we are in trouble.

ONOWN.WAV Preacher: Son. You’re on your own.

ORDINARY.WAV Lili: Oh. How ordinary.

PROTJOBS.WAV Governor: We’ve got to protect our phony-baloney jobs, Gentlemen. We must do something about this immediately!

PS**T.WAV Guy: Aw, prairie s**t.

PUZZLED.WAV Kid: We’re not sure. Are we… black? Sheriff: Yes we are. Kid: Then, we’re awake, but we’re very puzzled.

QUALIF.WAV Lamarr: Qualifications? Sheriff: Stampeding cattle. Lamarr: That’s not much of a crime. Sheriff: Through the Vatican? Lamarr: Kinky.

QWKSAND.WAV Taggart: Aw s**t… quicksand.

RPTSIR.WAV Taggart: Could you repeat that, sir?

SAYBYE.WAV Sheriff: Say goodbye. Worker: Goodbye.

SAYHELLO.WAV Sheriff: Say hello. Worker: Hello.

SHKHANDS.WAV Kid: Gee, in another 25 years you’ll be able to shake their hands in broad daylight.

SHOTBGUY.WAV Kid: Wow. You shot the bad guy.

SHOWTIME.WAV Sheriff: I’ts showtime!

SHTKICKR.WAV Lamarr: Shhh*tkicker.

SODUMB.WAV Sheriff: Oh, baby, you are so talented. And they are so dumb.

SPCLFX.WAV Tour guide: And now we’ll go to the special effects department.

STEADY.WAV Kid: Look at that. Sheriff: Steady as a rock. Kid: Yeah, but I shoot with this hand.

STOOPID_bs.WAV Sheriff: Well, don’t just sit there looking stupid.

SUCCESS.WAV Sheriff: I’m rapidly becoming a big underground success in this town.

TALKDRTY.WAV Lamarr: I love it when you talk dirty.

UNDRWEAR.WAV Governor: Holy underwear!!

WAIT1MIN.WAV Sheriff: No, wait a minute. Wait just one dog-gone minute here.

WAKEUP.WAV Sheriff: Wake-up time!!

WEDWOSE.WAV Lili: Ooh. A wed wose. How womantic.

WHEREWE.WAV Lamarr: Now, let’s see. Where were we?

WHIPOUT.WAV Sheriff: Excuse me while I whip this out. [scream]

WHTDOING.WAV Dom DeLuise: What in the hell do you think you are doing here?

WHTISTHT.WAV Rail boss: Hold it hold it. What the hell is that s**t?

WLDNTDO.WAV Kid: I wouldn’t do that if I were you.

WRKDONE.WAV Sheriff: My work here is done. I’m needed elsewhere now. (good shutdown sound)

WRKSONG.WAV Rail boss: Come on. How ’bout a good old ni***r work song. (again. I hate the word, but it’s a good line.)

WRLDRISE.WAV Guy: Bart? Sheriff: What? Guy: Am I wrong, or is the world rising? Sheriff: I don’t know, but whatever it is… I hate it.


WWSPORTS.WAV Taggart: What in the wide wide world of sports is a-goin’ on here? Download all of these files at once (broadband connection recommended)