3dshow.wav Johnny: “Hey, how’d you like to watch the show in 3-D, sweet thing?”

4legchicks.wav Johnny: “Y’know, there’s a lesson here: 4-legged chicks are nothin’ but trouble.”

911handsome.wav [beep beep beep] Johnny: Hello, 911 emergency? There’s a handsome guy in my house! Oh, wait a second, it’s only me.

allatonce_jb.wav Johnny: Now, do I get all the women at once, or do you just kinda send ’em to me one at a time?

awdang.wav Johnny: Aw DANG!

beautyday.wav Johnny: It’s a beautiful day… but not as beautiful as me.

belchbye.wav Chick: [belch] bu-bye.

Bravoman.wav Johnny: Stand back everybody! Bravoman is here!

brkfst.wav Johnny: Jenkies? Jenkies? Isn’t that a breakfast cereal or something? (there’s a better copy of this here)

brvohere.wav Johnny: Stand back everybody! Bravoman is here!

butkicked.wav Johnny: Somebody wants their big bull butt kicked.

chinese.wav Spectator: Okay, who wants to order chinese?

cpanic_jb.wav Chick: Oh please. Don’t run away in a cowardly panic. Johnny: That’s weird. That’s what I was just about to do.

cutepnts.wav Johnny: Hey there cutie pants.

cutout_jb.wav Johnny: Will you cut that out?

cyberfella.wav Johnny: Hey all you hot mamas. Wanna talk to a steaming hunk of cyberfella?

Cyberspace_jb.wav Johnny: Let’s just say I take up a lot of cyberspace.

davidstud.wav Johnny: Hey there cutie pants. [posing sounds] Am I as studly as the statue of David, or what?

delayed_grat.wav Johnny: I hate delayed gratification.

ethical.wav Guy: Fella, you’re too masculine. You know that? Johnny: Ain’t that like being too ethical?

freakout_jb.wav Johnny: Okay, you guys are starting to freak me out.

givelift.wav Johnny: Hi there. My car just broke down and I was wondering if you guys could give me a lift?

gotahurt_jb.wav Johnny: Ooh, that’s gotta hurt.

gotitright.wav Johnny: You got that right, mister.

gotmilk_jg.wav Johnny: A million and two cookies… Got milk?

govtapproved.wav Johnny: Is it government approved?

hard2get.wav Johnny: I get the feeling you’re playing hard to get.

holy-g.wav Johnny: Holy guacamole!

horrorface_jb.wav Johnny: I don’t want you to take this the wrong way or anything, but uh… your face is uh… oh, what’s the word I’m looking for?… Horrifying! Yeah, that’s it.

hubahuba.wav Johnny: Uhhhh hubba hubba hubba.

idea_jb.wav Johnny: Hold on a minute! I got an idea.

igotthumbs.wav Johnny: Look, uh, you want me to drive? I’ve got thumbs.

internet_jb.wav Johnny: Oh mama! Millions of chicks at the push of a button. Hello! I should have tried this internet thing long ago.

jenkies.wav Johnny: Jenkies? Jenkies? Isn’t that a breakfast cereal or something?

johnnycrash.wav Johnny: Oh, man. [long scream] OOF!

kindanice.wav Johnny: Well, this is nice. [crash] kind-of.

menwhocry.wav Johnny: I hate men who cry.

mustbeplace_jb.wav Johnny: This must be the place.

mutantsquirt_jb.wav Johnny: What kind of mutant squirt are you, anyway?

myteeth.wav Johnny: Um… you wanna hand me my teeth.  They’re over there by that shoe store.

nervous.wav Johnny: Should I be nervous?

New_jb.wav Johnny: That was new.

noprob_jb.wav Johnny: Hey, no problem.

notouchglasses.wav Johnny: I’m only gonna say this once. Don’t… Touch… The glasses!

notposs_jb.wav Johnny: Wait a sec. That ain’t possible.

oceanomuscle.wav Johnny: I’m an ocean of muscle. Ebbing and flowing on the tide of studliness.

oh-hello_jb.wav Scientist: Oh, hello.

ohmama.wav Johnny: Ohhhh Mama.

pattern.wav Johnny: I’m beginning to see a pattern here.

personal_jb.wav Johnny: Now… it’s personal.

poetic.wav Johnny: Hey don’t bother me, kid, I’m waxing poetic-like, alright?

reallyticked_jb.wav Johnny: Man, now I am really getting ticked.

screwinup_jb.wav Johnny: I know I’m screwing this up somewhere.

scuseme_jb.wav Johnny: ‘scuse me.

sensitive.wav Johnny: What? Guy: Excuse me? Johnny: What was that word? Guy: Sensitive.

showtime_jb.wav [doorbell] Johnny: Showtime!

stallone.wav Johnny: What does grammar have to do with getting chicks? Guy: Nothing if you’re Sly Stallone.

standback.wav Johnny: Okay. Stand back.

strangelad.wav Leprechaun: Farewell to you. You’re a strange, strange lad.

testy.wav Johnny: Man, them air waitresses sure are testy.

tooethic.wav Johnny: Ain’t that like being too ethical?

top-o-am.wav Leprechaun: Eh, top of the morning to you stranger.

tyvm1.wav Johnny gives an Elvis-like Thank you.

uhhhubba.wav Johnny: Uhhhh hubba hubba hubba. (There’s a better copy of this here)

undrstnd.wav Johnny: You understand what that dog says?

wantsme.wav Johnny: Oh yeah, she wants me.

weeniedg.wav Johnny: That’s a fine looking weenie dog you got there.

weeniedog.wav Johnny: Oh Mama! RUNAWAY WEENIE DOG!

weirder.wav Johnny: Just keeps getting weirder and weirder.

wetone_jb.wav Johnny: Hey there little pop-tart. How’d you like me to plant a big wet one on you?

whatajrk.wav Johnny: What a jerk.

whatevr.wav Johnny: Yeah, whatever.

whatstoday_jb.wav Johnny: grrrrrowww That’s the stuff! Chick: Oh. Wait. What’s today? Johnny: I don’t care.

wmnscreams.wav Johnny: Oh yeah! When a woman screams, I just feel the need to be there.

youcalled_jb.wav Scientist: You called?